well a little of whats been on my mind lately we all know the Aztec calender predicts the end of the world is the 21st of December witch is Friday!!!
I have mixed feelings about this!?
I really dont want the world to end, there is so much that I want to do and become before it is my time. I have to many goals. First since Joels been gone ive been a little lost and want to become the wife, and woman I was even though it is hard without him here but want to become that girl again. I need to find me again and be able to do the things we loved to do without being scared of doing them with out him. Such as go camping, hiking, skydiving, rock climbing, play guitar more ext. I want to feel fearless again I dont like this feeling of worry but its a bit hard to do this fearless things without my partner in crime! But something that I must concur on my own!
But then again???!!!???
If it was the end of the world then things would still be good! I would finaly get to be with my love again!!! Just think about it 1 day away from seeing the person I love the most after not seeing him for 7 months brings so much joy to my heart! But me being me I try not to get excited about stuff so if it doesnt happen im not let down! (plus unfortunantly I dout the world will really end on friday) I know thats sad I dont get excited about stuff but I do have an active imagination that gets me so worked up and excited that if it doesnt meet my expectations im sad so I try to tone it down lol. but just the thought if I coud be a day away from Joel would make me the happiest person ever! I miss him extreamly!
Well a couple hours away we will know the out come. Either way will be ok but if I had to chose.... I hope the Aztecs are right!!!!
(p.s. This post was not entended to make you feel sad! Just to look at the end of the world when ever that may be in a diffrent light. Its nothing to be worked up or scared about. In fact its something you should be looking forward to!)
